A Roadblock - Bad News

Then one day in early spring, I received a text.  It read " I have bad news".   I quickly called my marine to understand what was going on.  At the time, I had not decided to allow myself to care for him completely, so I pretended to be upbeat and carefree about his response.  It was then that he told me he had made a decision to deploy to Afganistan.  The plan was for him to leave in October and he would spend a significant amount of time preparing his team for deployment. 
I pretended not to be alarmed ( or disappointed for that matter).  In all honesty I felt discouraged.  I thought to myself ' oh great, I found a really nice man just to have this relationship be a temporary thing'.  With that, a part of me hesitated to completely commit to the relationship, as much as I wanted to, I was afraid he would not reciprocate the feeling and I feared he wouldnt return.  Thereafter, his behavior changed and he would go weeks and days without communicating with me. 
I remembered that I would keep my cell phone close to me and watch for his emails or texts every day.  Every day turning to see if I had a "Ping" or some semblance that he was still there. 
My heart filled with excitement when I would get "that call" telling me ' I'm back this weekend, come out and see me'.  He would spend time about once a month, or every other month in Camp Pendleton.  when he'd call for me, I would drive out to see him with bells and whistles (not really, just my overnight bag). 
The amazing thing about this relationship was that, for some reason, whenever I really needed to hear from him, he would call or text or email.  I remembered that I would have a tough day at work, or be going through a tough emotional problem and he would call and ask how was my day?   His timing was impecable. He always knew I would come see him. I always wanted to.  He was a far cry from anyone I had ever dated.  i didnt see him or spend as much time as I would have liked to, but the brief weekends we would spend together were explosive and AMAZING!

The Day After

Just about every day thereafter, my mornings began with texts and conversations from my new friend, the marine.  I felt warm and bubbly inside when I would receive a text from him.  This feeling, though exciting, scared me. I both wanted to see him more, and at the same time, wanted to forget about him.  I felt the distance, and his busy schedule would not allow for much of a relationship. At the time he worked for as a terrorist security personnel ( we'll leave it at that for the sake of national security, lol) and he was in the Marine reserve.  In other words, he was unavailable alot.  My girly mind began to think, " he probably has a girlfriend, or worse! a wife! and he is just trying to fit me in whenever."  So, when I think this, of course I was angry.  I couldn't fathom the idea that may be he was simply too busy to see me and spend time with me.
A little history here, my last boyfriend of many many many years was local and I saw him alot.  We spend gobbs of time together and with family.  After a 12 year stint with this non committal person, I decided I wanted something different.  Boy is dating a marine different! So, you see, I got what I wanted. (didn't know it at the time, though.... we never do.. right?)
So, from then on he and I kept trying to get together, but between his schedule and mine,there was rarely time.  Finally, there was a break in his communication to me.  Then I thought, WOW! I guess he is not that into me.  Whatever! and life went on.  He surfaced a few days or weeks later and shared with me that he had to go work somewhere up north and he was back for the weekend.  He invited me to stay with him at a hotel near Camp Pendleton.  I agreed.
When I arrived, he welcomed me in the parking lot and began to give me instructions on 'behavior guidelines for my stay'. I thought it was cute for him to do this, knowing that I am always on good behavior, but I let him talk. He took me to his room and offered for me to use the dresser and directed me to which space in the restroom and closet were 'set aside' for me.  At the time, I was a little uncomfortable with that, I was vacillating, so I opted to keep my things in my duffel bag ( for a quick get away if things got strange, lol).    I was delightfully surprised when he showed me the thoughtful gift he got me.  He must have been listening to me on our first date. He then, took me out on for dinner and dancing.  The next day, he had to work so he got ready in the morning.  I felt guilty for not getting up with him, or making him breakfast.  He told me to sleep in as he readied himself to work.  I shut my eyes, but watched out of the corner of my eye how meticulous he was in his morning routine and tending to his crisp uniform, donning his socks, everything. As I hugged him and gave him a kiss before he left, he quickly told me ' not too much, my guys will know..and they will tease me...' He was eluding to me leaving him smelling like a girl. 
All day, I planned to tour the area of camp P, and I did.  Though, I found myself anxious for his return from work. I thought the feeling of anticipation inviting, but also scary.  I don't recall being excited 'waiting' for anybody before.  I don't know what made this one different.
If I were to say, "that moment" for me... you know what I mean when I say " That moment?".  Well, if you don't, you will, at some point.  Well, the next night, we stayed up watching a national geographic special of attraction.  In the show, there were two little rodents in the wilderness.  The narrator explained that these critters had only one mate.  Apparently, there is something in their brains, some type of pheromone that makes the male critter link with the female.  For these little furry bundles, there is only one partner.  The filmmaker showed the little critters nuzzled up next to each other in their burrow.  At that time I asked my marine, " what type (of mammal) are you? " and he responded " what type do you want me to be?" I smiled and pressed my head against his chest while I said ' the one who has one partner (  I used the name of the little rodent/critter - but at the moment I cant remember its name ). He pulled me in, and the rest of the what happened that evening is private.