Today I begin the next phase of my blog. The title will remain ‘ the care and feeding of a US Marine’, only because the title will make sense as we progress through the story.
I have not heard from my marine, outside of a text mid January, since Mid December. I don’t remember his last visit, what happened, what was said. All I know is I drank too much alcohol ( a bottle of wine) and passed out. When I awoke, he was gone. I have since texted him, appealing to engage in conversation, but he has not responded. My friends tell me “ Good riddance”. They tell me I need to realize I have value and I should not tolerate this from him. I dont know why he isolated or distanced himself. I dont understand how someone could be so close then repel so far away. I learned to stop asking Why. I cannot begin to understand why this marine acts this way unless he tells me. He cannot tell me if we are not in dialogue. And so it is.
I decided, after this incident, that I would focus the first six months of 2013 on me. I see that I had invested myself in a relationship too easily and upon reflection, see a few things I could have done differently. I remain cordial to his family member, who now works at the same company I do. We meet occasionally for lunch and work social events. His family member is a super great person and I beleive my marine is great as well, since he is related ( part of ) to her. However, I resolve that he is not into me for now and I need to suck it up and move on.
So, here I am, putting ink to my thoughts, my feelings and my relational development. Today, I know to fill my life with the things I love. I schedule in activities, exploring new things, enjoying old things and invite people into my experiences. I know I am a good person. I love myself, I love those around me and I let my light shine to others who need encouragement and happy experiences. I have great friends and we give and receive from one another. I don’t fret over my ‘ special person’, whomever that will be. I am open to meeting him, but its not the end of the world if I don’t meet him and it definitely does not complete me. I am complete. In my articles I hope to show the lessons I learned in boot camp, as a result of being with my marine. ( metaphorically speaking)
Here we go....