I must admit, I was wrong in assessing that John, the former seal was going to be an easier man to deal with relationally. John, the seal (yes, John the flake) is good with his finances, seemed grounded (he talks about his daughter, family and long time friends who live in the area. He seemed to have a great social life with friends doing fun activities outdoors like camping, fishing, star gazing, kayaking, etc. . . . Compared to the marine who drinks alcohol almost daily, eats and has a few close friends. He is not outdoorsy, although he does ride a motorcycle ( riddled with decals of scantily clad women). He is horrible with money!!! He spends it easily and does not have savings.
When I first met John, I shared with him that I like to have a lot of connection to my partner. I like frequent communications, be it texts or phone calls and I like to see my partner often. I shared with him that what kills me is that my marine is rarely home and he is often out of communication; whether by choice or design.
Of course, initially John promised to always communicate with me and see or talk often. That was before we had sex. Now that he has ‘ locked me in’ with that activity, I rarely see him. Rarely for me is that I have probably seen him 3 times this year.
The other day I called him to say hello. ( PS: Don’t get me wrong. I don’t wait by the phone for anyone. I go out, I date others and I have a busy life). I know that he often stays up late, since he can’t sleep. He said he is always on guard. I called him at about 1130 pm. His response to my call was a text “I’m sleeping, what’s up?” I responded “Can’t sleep, just wanted to talk”. His texts back, “Are you insecure about something?” Taken back by his comment I responded “ Only insecure people are up at 22:30?” to which he texts “ Ill call you later in the week”.
Im not understanding where this seal gets the idea that I am “ insecure” because I reach out to him to say hello. Then, when I don’t reach out – he says I am ignoring him, or I don’t seem to care. WTF?
This past week I came across a survey that USC is performing for families and loved ones of former military folks. There is a big push on teaching us how to deal with them and their issues upon returning from deployment or service. Check out the site on: http://cir.usc.edu/the-los-angeles-veteran-survey if you want to learn more.
I don’t know that I would join a survey like this. I suppose if either my marine or the seal would show me they have a genuine interest in having a relationship with me, I would. However, as it stands now, they are both distant so I won’t pursue learning more about them (until they pursue learning more about me). Either way, perhaps some of your readers would find the survey and resources helpful.