I have a friend who is dubbed John the Flake. ( Real names are changed to protect the innocent- jejejeje). John is known in my circle of friends as " John the Flake". About a year back, during a time when my marine went into isolation, I befriended and dated John. John is a retired Navy Seal Captain. John had suffered a life threatening blow to his tummy which resulted in his forced resignation from service.
With John, I decided to take our relationship at a slower, more certain pace. ( Compared to jumping into bed with my marine on our first day and thinking I was his girlfriend). No, John was different. He had similar qualities as my marine. He is a hottie, sexy, good communicator. However, different from my marine, John was good with his finances. He was ready for a relationship ( so he said). So, I decided to tell John I wouldnt sleep with him unless he was my boyfriend. Following that comment, he agreed to be my boyfriend. Then he flaked on me for new years by cancelling on the last minute and breaking up with me over texting. Strange!!!!! What is up with these Military Men!!!!
Therafter, I maintain a friendship with John. He cancels quite a bit. It had gotten to the point that I called him on it. He pulls away when I challenge him. He says the following things offend military men. So I thought to add them here, lest any of you readers attempt to date one of these guys and not want to hurt their feelings.
"Dude" - Although in California, Orange County area we call guys by this name, military men find it offensive. IDK.
" I Miss you" -- This is too clingy and needy.
"Ignore them" -- They feel dejected and disregarded ( So how do you reconcile telling them you care and miss them being found too needy versus ignoring their texts for a day or so and being told you are self-centered and ignore them? IDK.
" Go fetch my purse from the house" - apparently you shouldn't order a staff sargeant around. ( jejejeje)
" Surprise" -- No surprise birthday parties. I have a friend who dated a marine with PTSD and she arranged for family and friends to jump out from behind the furniture and yell ' surprise! happy birthday!' Her marine freeked out!!!! I can understand why, but she was taken back by the experience.
" Old dog poo in the yard" Yes, my marine is sensistive to smells so I have to clean up my dogs mess and perfume the yard before he comes over. ( Geeesh!)
" Nazi Personal Trainer". Yes, I called my personal trainer an exercise Nazi and John flipped. He said to never reference words like that around military men because of all the situations they have had to resolve worldwide as a result of tyrrany.
I honestly think this friend John is even more work to deal with than my marine. John cancels so much, I dont take him serious anymore. Then when I cancel on him, he gets butt hurt.
The worst part is that when I address Johns behavioral issues and tell him how they affect me. He typically responds. " Its a military thing". Im tired of that lame excuse. Last time he flaked I told him "dont hide behind military excuses. I am not military and he needs to consider the rules in my world if he wants to play in it". ( He appologized and made up. jejejeje! Gotcha!)
Strange. Strange military men. Why do I put up with them? Well, I like to learn and I enjoy the challenge. I figure, If I can handle one of these 'tough' men, then I can handle anyone. =)
With John, I decided to take our relationship at a slower, more certain pace. ( Compared to jumping into bed with my marine on our first day and thinking I was his girlfriend). No, John was different. He had similar qualities as my marine. He is a hottie, sexy, good communicator. However, different from my marine, John was good with his finances. He was ready for a relationship ( so he said). So, I decided to tell John I wouldnt sleep with him unless he was my boyfriend. Following that comment, he agreed to be my boyfriend. Then he flaked on me for new years by cancelling on the last minute and breaking up with me over texting. Strange!!!!! What is up with these Military Men!!!!
Therafter, I maintain a friendship with John. He cancels quite a bit. It had gotten to the point that I called him on it. He pulls away when I challenge him. He says the following things offend military men. So I thought to add them here, lest any of you readers attempt to date one of these guys and not want to hurt their feelings.
"Dude" - Although in California, Orange County area we call guys by this name, military men find it offensive. IDK.
" I Miss you" -- This is too clingy and needy.
"Ignore them" -- They feel dejected and disregarded ( So how do you reconcile telling them you care and miss them being found too needy versus ignoring their texts for a day or so and being told you are self-centered and ignore them? IDK.
" Go fetch my purse from the house" - apparently you shouldn't order a staff sargeant around. ( jejejeje)
" Surprise" -- No surprise birthday parties. I have a friend who dated a marine with PTSD and she arranged for family and friends to jump out from behind the furniture and yell ' surprise! happy birthday!' Her marine freeked out!!!! I can understand why, but she was taken back by the experience.
" Old dog poo in the yard" Yes, my marine is sensistive to smells so I have to clean up my dogs mess and perfume the yard before he comes over. ( Geeesh!)
" Nazi Personal Trainer". Yes, I called my personal trainer an exercise Nazi and John flipped. He said to never reference words like that around military men because of all the situations they have had to resolve worldwide as a result of tyrrany.
I honestly think this friend John is even more work to deal with than my marine. John cancels so much, I dont take him serious anymore. Then when I cancel on him, he gets butt hurt.
The worst part is that when I address Johns behavioral issues and tell him how they affect me. He typically responds. " Its a military thing". Im tired of that lame excuse. Last time he flaked I told him "dont hide behind military excuses. I am not military and he needs to consider the rules in my world if he wants to play in it". ( He appologized and made up. jejejeje! Gotcha!)
Strange. Strange military men. Why do I put up with them? Well, I like to learn and I enjoy the challenge. I figure, If I can handle one of these 'tough' men, then I can handle anyone. =)
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