Monday, February 11, 2013

How did I get Here?

 Today I begin the next phase of my blog.  The title will remain ‘ the care and feeding of a US Marine’, only because  the title will make sense as we progress through the story. 
I have not heard from my marine, outside of a text mid January, since Mid December.  I don’t remember his last visit, what happened, what was said.  All I know is I drank too much alcohol ( a bottle of wine) and passed out.  When I awoke, he was gone.  I have since texted him, appealing to engage in conversation, but he has not responded.   My friends tell me “ Good riddance”.  They tell me I need to realize I have value and I should not tolerate this from him.   I dont know why he isolated or distanced himself.  I dont understand how someone could be so close then repel so far away.   I learned to stop asking Why.  I cannot begin to understand why this marine acts this way unless he tells me.  He cannot tell me if we are not in dialogue.  And so it is.
I decided, after this incident, that I would focus the first six months of 2013  on me.  I see that I had invested myself in a relationship  too easily and upon reflection, see a  few things I could have done differently.  I remain cordial to his family member, who now works at the same company I do.  We meet occasionally for lunch and work social events.   His family member is a super great person and I beleive my marine is great as well, since he is related ( part of ) to her.  However, I resolve that he is not into me for now and I need to suck it up and move on. 
So, here I am, putting ink to my thoughts, my feelings and my relational development.   Today, I know to fill my life with the things I love.  I schedule in activities, exploring new things, enjoying old things and invite people into my experiences.  I know I am a good person.  I love myself, I love those around me and I let my light shine to others who need encouragement and happy experiences.   I have great friends and we give and receive from one another.  I don’t fret over my ‘ special person’, whomever that will be.  I am open to meeting him, but its not the end of the world if I don’t meet him and it definitely does not complete me.  I am complete.  In my articles I hope to show the lessons I learned in boot camp, as a result of being with my marine. ( metaphorically speaking)  
Here we go....

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