Tuesday, March 19, 2013

First Lesson

Coming out of a long term relationship was difficult.  I found that when I ended a 13 year relationship I had to learn to interact with other men all over again.  When I was younger, I hand guys falling all over me left and right. I didn't have to work at relating or being kind. I was actually quit cocky back then. I was in a different place in my life and disinterested with what men had to offer. I was focused on school and being independent.

Now as a older, wiser person with alot more collateral and reputation that could be affected by my choices, I was scared and clumsy with dating. I had met someone, briefly, alot younger than me and sure, it was fun momentarily.  After time, I felt disinterested, conversation with someone less mature, less educated, was boring and I soon fell out of that relationship.  I was learning that the " girlie girl" at middle age is looking for a different type of hottie than the young Gorky girl, who dated for looks and excitement.

At this stage my time was more valuable and I had less time or patience to deal Ruth someone who couldn't pull their weight in livelihood, conversation, accomplishments, and the like.  I took the advice of friends and made an attempt at online dating.  E harmony was my choice. I interview people for a living and, at the time, did not know how to shut off working girlie girl and turn on off the clock girly girl. I must have blown through 2-300 profiles and couldn't get past the initial exchanges. I had always found one red flag or another to give me a reason not to select them. It was like filtering resumes.   Then I redefined what I was looking for and made a determination to give a relationship a change- to be more patient- less judgemental- more open.  That's when I landed an Asian marine.

I didn't realize he was in active duty when we first connected. I thought he worked for a government office's security department. His profile had a photo of him wearing a badge and his profession said " government".  I put 2 and 2 together and that was what I thought.

We chatted a bit, exchanged numbers and began a 2 month conversation. We tried to connect a few times but we were both do buzy, our schedules didn't sinc up. 

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