Friday, August 17, 2012

Making the Best of Time Away

Here we go again.  I have had three days of sulking and missing him.  I haven’t figured out why I feel this way.  The closest logical reason is that I love him and I feel the distance.  I know he will be ok.  I know he will come back. In the distant negative ideas lurking way in the back of my head there is that notion of ... “maybe he'll meet a little Asian girl there and fall in love".  I know that is not a healthy idea, I shake that idea off.  If he were to find love out there, I am happy for him. He deserves it.  We all deserve to find that feeling of love.  
The delay in hearing from him is deafening. It’s not uncommon for him to take a week or two to connect with me.  He needs time to arrive and get situated, connected to the internet... his computer might have gotten lost or damaged in transit.  Things and conditions may have changed and he can’t call me. During this time I try to stay buzy, get my emotions straight and keep a positive and optimistic attitude.
I understand, the work he does is challenging and his focus needs to be on his work and saving his life, not on whether I need him to call me so that I can tell him about the silly things that happen during my day. 
The day before yesterday I sulked when I got home from work.  Going to an Asian fruit store made me feel better.  My marine is Asian.  Yesterday, I went to lunch at a Thai restaurant.  That made me feels better.  Today, I am meeting his cousin for lunch.  I don’t know her that well but I plan to get to know her better.  I think it will help me get to know him.
Some say, why deal with this? why not just find a guy at home, with a regular life, to spend time with you, blah,blah,blah. I say, in my head, who wants that? That's boring? Something about this man attracts me.  Something about him makes me want to understand him better. Besides, there are no boys at home who are expressing interest for the moment.
So during this time away, I am redirecting my focus inward, at things I need to get done.  I need to do home repairs, career stuff, exercise and I am trying this new life style of "gluten free living".  I'll let you know how it goes.  I’m interested to hear what others do during time away?


  1. I can relate a lot to this post. My marine has been gone for two weeks to Afghanistan. I remember waiting for three days to hear from him as he traveled and got situated on base. I was going crazy with anticipation. The first e-mail from him letting me know he was ok was the best feeling ever. I can also relate about having people in my life question how and why I am with someone in the military. In a sense I think the distance makes us stronger. It makes us more eager to communicate, and when I get to see his face on Skype I light up with happiness. He is doing something he loves and who am I to question that? I fell in love with him for who he is and being a marine is a big part of who he is. While he is away and try to keep busy with friends and family. Going to various attractions, meeting friends for drinks, blogging, and I even keep a journal for my marine that I write in every single day about everything that happened and every important thought that crossed my mind so he can read them when he gets home. Exercising and cooking new recipes is also a way that I deal with his absence. I hope your man contacts you soon!

  2. Mirada,
    Thank you for sharing. Its good to see that Im not alone. I finally heard from him. He gave me three words in an email. Well, its a start. I gave him the suggestion of skype. He hasnt been receptive to that before, but I am hopeful he will this time.